One-liners collection found on the editor’s desk

...every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Bad spellers of the world untie.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

My computer doesn't understand me.

My job is secure. No one else wants it.